Lost Love, and Pain Anew
by platinumvamp
Summary: When Spike discovers a box of pictures and a teddy bear, he becomes depressed Gunn finds out and decides to talk to Angel about it-warning slash- dun know what it means? GAY COUPLE Rated M for it too lol so that means some naughty stuff :P


LOST LOVE AND PAIN ANEW

_sorry i changed the times and all that crap,but if it doesn't sound true to the time i changed it to sorry,I also spelled some things to the way they sound, so the spelling errors are meant to get the point across, not because I am a daft twit :P, I do not own buffy or angel, I may make a couple new characters and those I own completely, or was inspired to create using similar names and or personalites from other stories i've read. please do not complain about the homosexual relationships, if you don't like it don't read it, it is not your problem, so I ask, no, __**beg **__of you to leave me alone._

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"Hey, Angel?" Spike said, entering Angel's new 'house' which was just above his office but recieved no answer. he looked around the blank room and saw that no one was there, so he decided to check Angels living room.

"Angel"? Spike asked entering the dark room Angel called a living room. _He calls this a living room? where the bloody hells the telly?? and he could use another couch._

"Angel you in here?" no answer "oh well i'll just stay here until he gets home." Spike said sitting on the couch, feeling something under him as he sat down, Spike sighed, "bloody ponce needs to learn to pick up his toys." getting up he looked at what he had sat on, it was a teddy bear he had given Spike a long time ago.

Spike stared in shock as he picked up the teddy bear, he had loved it, and carried it with him everywhere. He just stood there holding it, when he saw a box on the couch as well. He looked through it and it was full of pictures...OF HIM!! _what the bloody hell is Angel doing with all this stuff? he prolly plans to burn it though. _Spike sighed "probably, oh well, I never liked my pictures, they never turn out good."

He picked up one of the pictures, and thought back to when it was taken. He had been sired but twelve years before and was very stubborn about not wanting to kill anyone. Angelus was trying to force him to eat, and thus killed a photographer for him. It was also the week Angel had brought the teddy bear to him.

--flashback-- "_ANGELUS!! that's bad, quit it, what are you doing? William asked as his newfound sire picked up the photographer and bit into him. "William, bite his neck like I just did, and suck okay? because if you don't you'll not be okay." William giggled, amused by the his sires brogue, and went to look at the many pictures decorating the walls of the small building. He was enraptured by the black and white pictures that were so new to him. "My beautiful Angel, can we take a picture?" William asked as he looked at a picture of a couple. "och, what do you want with a picture sweet William?" Angelus asked, dropping the photographer, then went and held William around the waist. "To remember you forever being so kind to me,and well, bloody hell, they're so beautiful Angelus!" William excitedly told him, holding out the picture of the couple. "See?" Angelus sighed and pulled William to the chair in front of the camera. "Someone needs to take the picture, so it'll just be you in yer little picture, okay now William." William sighed dissapointedly but then smiled as Angelus went behind the camera. "I love you my beatiful Angel." William giggled out, as Angelus took the picture._

_William was walking through the door of the apartment Angelus had 'borrowed', when a teddy bear was thrown in his face. "OY!! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" William yelled in surprise, then looking at the teddy bear gasped and smiled. "Aye, I did good then?" Angelus asked him, walking up and holding William around the waist. "I BLOODY LOVE HIM ANGELUS!" William sputtered out hugging Angelus. "I'm glad, but now yer gonna haf ta do me a favor now, me sweet William." Angelus grinned pulling William to the bedroom. --end flashback--_

Spike put the teddy bear down, blushing from the memory, and turned around to leave; when he bumped into a very irritated and very well dressed Angel.

"what the hell are you doing here Spike, I was at a ballet with a client, you know that he wanted me to help him buy the people to make his own personnel ballet, stingy jerk, i mean come on does it really hurt to pay some money every now and then? Wait what are you doing here again?" Spike payed attention to what Angel was saying for once, and shook his head, but then remembered what he came here for.

"I was, uhmn, coming here to give you some files for charlie-boy, he wanted me to tell you it was easier than he thought, all you need to do is sign it. Spike said, then blushed as Angel looked at the stuff on the couch.

Angel looked stumped, "I was, uh I was...I was uhmn cleaning up and throwing some things out earlier and I had put that stuff together so I could throw it out later, Spike you are also my childe I can do with this stuff as i please, you do not have authority to tell me what to do."

"Oh..okay then, well i'll be going now, and you should be more careful on what you say, people might hear you say i'm your childe, and we both know that's not true, right Angel?" Spike asked giving Angel a look that meant he was serious yet sarcastic and hurried out the door before Angel could answer leaving the files on the couch.

Angel just stood there and looked at the now empty doorway and wished Spike didn't leave, he had something very important to tell him and he wasn't quite sure how to tell him. He picked up the box and teddy bear and put them on the floor to lay down on the couch, _damn it how can i tell Spike, i mean it can't be that hard ,he wouldn't stake me would he?? oh god what am i gonna do?_ Angel sighed, that thought, he imagined would haunt him for at least a couple more hours if not days.

Spike had made it home without Angel saying anymore._it was getting weird in there, I mean what the bloody hell was Angel thinking, I never thougth he was insane before, but he called me his, HIS child, and now I don't know what to think, does he want me to worship him or something? WELL BUGGER THAT no way in hell am I gonna worship that arrogant ass. humph like he'll be able to get me to do that, what a ponce, if he got off his sodding ass once in a while, he would know that i'm not going to do anything for him, stupid ponce, no he's a POOF a sodding POOF and i'll never work for him not ever, what the bloody hell am I still thinking about it for??_ he sighed and climbed onto his king sized bed not bothering to get under the covers he just layed there thinking about how Angel was acting, then he nodded off hands still behind his head.

Angel woke with a start, he had fallen asleep on the couch, the phone was ringing and he looked confused wondering who would call him at this time, he picked up the phone.

"hello?" Angel asked. "Hi Angel, it's Fred, we need you to come down here, something happened, and no ones got any ideas on how to fix it, we were hoping you could help us out, _hey! ya'll are going to break that, put it down_, uhmn sorry Angel I gotta go will you be here soon?" Fred asked in her southern accent. "yeah sure in a minute." Angel hung up, then he went to go take a shower.

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"Oh hi Angel i'm glad your here, everythings gone wrong, that machine we got, it.. well it makes anyone affected immature, and I can't seem to get hold of the people.. do you think it was people or demons that sent it?"

"Why would someone want a machine that makes you immature? Why does the world have to be so weird..."

"Angel, are you alright you seem a little pale, oh Gunn wants to talk to you, he said he was gonna be in his office."

"Do you know what he wants?" Angel asked Fred.

"Nope, but he said it was important." Fred said then went back to working on the skin samples.

Angel headed towards his office to think. Five minutes later Gunn walked in and sat in the chair in front of Angels desk.

"Hey Fred said you'd be here, I was wanting to talk to you Angel." Gunn said.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot, I was gonna go to your office, but I guess I lost track of time, so what do you want to talk about?."Angel asked staring off into space.

"Spike... Angel he's been doing errands for me lately, and so I went to his apartment the other day because I needed this file delivered, when I got there he was laying on the couch, looking at a picture of you two, and Angel...he was crying, what happened between you two?" Gunn asked, Angel stared in shock as Gunn sat there.

"Since when did you care about Spike, Gunn?" Angel asked trying to avoid the subject.

"Since I saw him crying, Angel, what did you do to him?" Gunn asked starting to get mad.

"Gunn, this is a complicated matter, I can't just talk about it." Angel said desperate not to have to talk about this.

"_I don't care, when I went over to him he broke down and hugged me Angel, he kept rambling about how 'it hurts' I don't know what the hell happened, so your gonna tell me okay_?" Gunn screamed out, Angel's eyes flashed gold, but then he calmed down.

"FINE!" Angel yelled. "I'll tell you, it may take a fucking while, so sit down."

**Manchester, England 1762**

"Catch me if you can Thomas!" An excited young William called out to his older brother, who was lounging in the shade beside a tree.

"Oy, William, if I were to catch you, i'd have to hurt you." Thomas yelled back, giggling.

"Then you shalt not catch me!" William yelled back then sprinted into the sea of trees.

"NO!! WILLIAM DON'T GO IN THE WOODS!" Thomas yelled at him, but it was too late, he ran to get his parents.

William was giggling and running, till he hit a grassy field, he looked behind him and yelled his brothers name, but was returned with silence. His brother was not there. He sat down and cried, he had taken to many turns and did not know his way back. He had been sitting there for a couple hours, and now the night was darkened and the moon was out full. He had heard rumors that the demons come out at the full moon and he started to get scared, then he heard the grass rustling, and he started to run. Not a minute later, he was grabbed by strong arms.

"NO, please I beg of thee, don't hurt me!" William screamed, and started flailing his arms.

"Not to be worrying young lad, me heart wouldn't allow me to, how old might you be?" a strange Irish voice asked.

"I'm of six years, and why are you in England, you sound Irish?" William said.

"Well, aren't you a smart little lad." the strange Irish man laughed and put William down.

"Aye, tis true, i'm Irish, and your quite the proper little Englishman yerself now." he smiled and knelt down.

"what is a young lad such as yerself doin oot at night, oh where are me manners, me name is Angelus." he said and smiled, William thought that was the sweetest smile he'd ever seen.

"I got lost, my brother was to be following me, but I suppose he got lost too." William said.

"wha-" William tried speaking, but the man put his lips to Williams and forced him to the ground.

"Mphofff, noooo STOP!!" William yelled out as soon as Angelus had gotten off of him.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I haf to be going now lad, but be lookin to it that we see again." Angelus said then morphed into his vampiric face, laughed, turned away, and left.

"WILLIAM!!" Thomas yelled out, William turned around and got up and ran to his brother, his parents grabbed him up and went home. William never spoke of what happened that night.

**Manchester, England 1771**

"PETER!!" William shrieked in excitement, after opening the door to his house, and thought seeing his old friend again was the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Oy, William, tis good ta be seeing you again!" Peter responded, hugging William.

"You'd be ten and five years now wouldn't ya William?" Peter asked as he walked into the room.

"Yes, and you'd be ten and eight now right?" William asked counting the years between them.

"Tis true, I'd be ten and eight years now, good to know you still remember me, after so long apart, I thougth I was dreadfully tiresome to you." Peter said grinning.

William gasped, "Of all the lads and birds in the world, you are the least tiresome to me." William hugged him so tight it hurt.

"Oy, William, my stomach is hurting now, I love you too, but it hurts." Peter said, then hugged william from behind swaying side to side, then letting go, went up to Williams room, and sat on the bed, William doing the same.

"Might your father be nicer now?" Peter asked looking at the bruise on Williams neck, William just looked down and then layed down behind Peter.

"Yes, he's nicer." William managed to whisper, Peter had barely heard it, but the lie was not hidden well.

"All right then William, I must go now, I need some sleep, I'll be seeing you tommorrow." Peter said then got up and left.

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_"NO!! WILLIAM DON'T GO IN THE WOODS!" Faded away on the breeze as William ran into the woods, he had gone too far and was lost, so he started to cry, then he heard a noise and started to run, but was caught up in strong warm arms. _

_"NO, please I beg of thee, don't hurt me!" William screamed, and started flailing his arms._

_"Not to be worrying young lad, me heart wouldn't allow me to, how old might you be?" a strange Irish voice asked, it sounded sweet to William. _

"_I'm of ten and five years, and why are you in England, you sound Irish?" William said, pushing into the mans chest unconsciously._

"_Well, aren't you a smart little lad." the strange Irish man laughed and put William down, William was sad to have lost the contact but was still close enough to smell the irish whiskey on him. _

_"Aye, tis true, i'm Irish, and your quite the proper little Englishman yerself now." he smiled and knelt down. "what is a young lad such as yerself doin oot at night, oh where are me manners, me name is Angelus." he said and smiled, William thought that was the sweetest smile he'd ever seen, and even though he was not really young anymore he did not say anything. _

_"I got lost, my brother was to be following me, but I suppose he got lost too." William said, shivering hoping the man will grab him up again. "wha-" William tried to ask what he was doing, but the man put his lips to Williams and forced him to the ground. "No don't stop, it feels so good..."_

"NO!!" William screamed waking up, and even though he didn't like his dream, _or so he thought, _he was still hard, sweating he got up and slowly crept out the door into the chilly night. As he was walking he thought he heard a gasp behind him, so he quickly turned around, no one was there.He continued walking, he was at the edge of the woods, even though he knew he shouldn't be since there are dangerous things that wander through the trees, especially at night. His hard on was starting to ache, as though it knew something was gonna happen.

"Aye, tis you isn't young lad?" a familiar voice said.A wave of chills tingled down Williams spine, and his erection tingled too, confusing William. He turned and saw the man that had violated him nine years ago.

"I'm not young sir, you must be mistaken." William said then turned and was taking a step when the man grabbed him and pulled him against his chest, he gasped and his erection grew harder, something that, William had thought, was impossible.

"Oh? it really isn't you my young William, aye, i've been watching you sweet one, I plan to kill you tonight, but no worrying, I want to have some fun first." Angelus said, picking William up bridal style.

"NO, please I don't want to die, and I don't want to have fun I just want to go home!" William cried out, trying to free himself from the mans grasp.

"No fun? oh how boring, sweet William, come with me, i'll make you scream in the greatest pleasure." Angelus said, then started off to his new home, thinking of how tasty the man who owned it was, and how tasty William will be. William did not say anything else until they reach the door.

"What exactly are you wanting to do Angelus?" William asked, hoping he does not get hurt for using the mans name. Angelus chuckled, then opened the door. He carried William up to the bedroom then threw him onto the bed, literally.

"HEY!" William screamed in surprise when he was suddenly thrown onto the bed.

"Oh, did you want me to be gentle sweet William, i'm not thinking I can." Angelus grinned evily then took off his shirt, then grabbed William by the arm and proceeded to get his shirt and leggings off, just as he thought, William didn't wear undergarments. William jumped at the cold air now surrounding him.

"NO! PLEASE! let me go home, please, please, oh gods please let me go home Angelus!" William cried out as Angelus nipped and sucked on his torso, little gasps escaped him. He tried to ignore the pleasure he was given throught these little acts, but could not.

"Oh? tell me what you really want William." Angelus said, biting on Williams hardened nipple.

"I, I want to go home!" William screamed, but did not really believe himself when he said that.

"I saw hesitation, my sweet little William." Angelus grinned and layed down on the bed, half on William, and nibbled on his neck.

"No you didn't, I merely stuttered, you mistook it for hesitation now let me go!" William cried out once more. trying to pull himself from under Angelus.

"Hmn, Oh well, Do you want me to help you with that?" Angelus grinned evily as he grabbed Williams length and pulled him close to him.

"No!, let me be! -gasp- no don't stop!" William whispered out as Angelus gently rubbed him.

"Oh, don't stop? I thought you wanted to go home sweet William?" Angelus teased him.

"I, I... please you are twisting my thoughts!" William sputtered out, confused about what he really wanted.

"let me help you untwist your thoughts." Angelus said as he entered Williams mouth with his tongue and slid his cock into the blonde/brunettes ass.

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Hey it's been a while since i wrote an angel fic and so i hope it's good... thanks for reading i'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible, now that i have semi stable internet have a great day night or whatever the hell it is for you lol...


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